May Day — Dimslow Reckons

Poor old John Doe Dimslow once wrote a poem about May Day you know, the worker’s day, the worker’s struggle, one of those many special days, everyday, that should be known as a true blue democracy day – one of those days of course that our glorious noble leaders scorn. May Day (history):

In the 1860’s, they campaigned for shorter working hours in many countries. On May 1st, 1886, workers in Canada and the United States, held peaceful strikes and rallies to demand an eight hour work day. Two days later, Chicago police killed several demonstrators at a clash between workers and scabs in that city. A rally was held in Haymarket Square to protest the killings, and when police tried to forcibly disperse the crowd a bomb was thrown. Seven police were killed; dozens in the crowd were injured. Eight leaders of the Chicago workers’ movement were charged with the police deaths although none had thrown the bomb. They were all convicted. Four were executed, one died in custody, and three were given life in prison, but were eventually pardoned. In memory of this struggle, and the struggle of all workers for better conditions, May 1st was declared an eight-hour holiday in 1889, by the International Workers’ Congress in Paris. In many countries, May 1st is a workers’ holiday celebrated every year.

Maybe they should rename the day, Dimslow Day, in recognition of all us John and Jane Doe Dimslows out their laboring to uphold our lives and our country, which really isn’t ours, since it really isn’t a democracy in many ways.

So, anyway, I once wrote a poem about May Day, only it was about a different sort of May Day – as in Mayday, Mayday, Mayday, America, Earth, we have a problem here.

And so I’ll say it again: Mayday to Earth, Mayday to America, come in, America! Mayday, America! Come in, America! Mayday! Mayday, America. May Day. Should be every day.

Freedom, Equality, Dignity and Other UDHR Follies

Well, old John Doe Dimslow may have to modify his 2008 campaign platform a bit. You see, I had always heard good things about the Universal Declaration of Human Rights but had never actually read it. Now as the campaign begins to swing into operation I see that the first Article may present something of a problem:

“All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.”

 

Whoa, Nelly! Hold the juice! You see, I have to compete with the Dems and the Reps who in their grand wisdom have long since understood that “free and equal in dignity and rights” is just a foolish pipedream. I mean, doesn’t everyone understand that the poor will always be with us? and the uninsured? and the unemployed? — many, many of them — who else will harvest our food? — in fact more every day, and so of course we are going to have to ditch this first Article as being utterly unreasonable. I mean, without the poor, who will do the dangerous, unhealthy jobs at miserable wages that sustain a republic and world as grand as ours?

 

And as far as everyone being “endowed with reason and conscience” – well, the Dems and Reps are living proof of the foolishness of that notion. So I propose that the first Article be modified to read as follows:

 

“All human beings are born free to sleep under the bridge at the edge of town at night if they cannot afford housing, and all are equal in their opportunity to be prosecuted to the full extent of the laws that are made to protect the minority of the wealthy from the majority of those of modest income. And all people are endowed with reason enough to know that they are expected to be obedient loyal wage-slaves for life with the good conscience that they are to expect no better and demand no more. And all people of modest income — the owned — should act toward the system of, by, and for those of more fortunate means — the owners — as convicts should act toward police, in a spirit of submission.”

 

Yes, I believe the admirable philosophies expressed in this new modified plank suit my campaign much more to a T and should enable me to compete on more equal footing with the Dems and Reps in my underdog attempt to gain media exposure for the long campaign that lies ahead.

 

Freedom, equality, dignity, reason, and conscience are nice when you can get them, but, please understand, dear supporters, that we are up against the state-corporate machine and so we must put aside any such notions of utopia until the days of wage-slavery incorporated are successfully re-routed, demoted, dismantled and fully bypassed.

 

In the meantime, perhaps we will find some consolation in Article 2, whatever it may be.

Democrats Bankrupt? Pope Catholic?

More and more people are asking these days, Are the Democrats bankrupt as a political party?

Ask a Dimslow. Is the Pope Catholic?

Now, I may be slower than a glacier with arthritis most ways, but even a Dimslow can pull the trigger pretty quick on that one.

The Ds aren’t the only thing that’s bankrupt of course. So’s the whole voting system, where you’ve got to be a zillionaire or agree with all the other zillionaires to even get your hat thrown in the voting ring in the first place. Well, a Dimslow is used to facing long odds. So we’re going to rear back these next years and throw our hats just as far as the common wind will take them. Spread the words, folks. Talk up a storm. Bang the pots and pans. Because the Dimslows have long since had enough.  

The Democrats and Congress have totally repudiated the will of the voters and the larger public in regard to the Iraq War. The Democrats’ refuse to cut off the Iraq occupation funding. Their so-called troop withdrawal deadlines are phony. They aren’t even considering the reparations the US owes Iraq, or money for the UN to help Iraq with the horrific destruction and loss of life.

The Democrats have proposed essentially nothing, or worse, the same old, same old—the typical continuation of the status quo, or worse, wrapped in the typical layers of PR—which once again makes the Democrats liars on the same scale as the Republicans and worse in some ways, because some of the Republicans don’t lie in as many layers about what they are doing. Some of them are more willing to be more upfront about the thugging around. Thug Nation, invasion and occupation—that’s the current reality of DemRep action in relation to Iraq, etc.

Overall the Republicans are somewhat more destructive, even if the Democrats lie in more layers. Both are bankrupt.

Did Genghis Khan’s grandson Hulagu conquer and occupy Iraq as violently and destructively and lethally as the US is doing?   

Divine Comedy by Julian Gough

Power Forth With Comedy

Divine Comedy

     Julian Gough

What is wrong with the modern literary novel? Why is it so worthy and dull? Why is it so anxious? Why is it so bloody boring?

Well, let’s go back a bit first. Two and a half thousand years ago, at the time of Aristophanes, the Greeks believed that comedy was superior to tragedy: tragedy was the merely human view of life (we sicken, we die). But comedy was the gods’ view, from on high: our endless and repetitive cycle of suffering, our horror of it, our inability to escape it. The big, drunk, flawed, horny Greek gods watched us for entertainment, like a dirty, funny, violent, repetitive cartoon. And the best of the old Greek comedy tried to give us that relaxed, amused perspective on our flawed selves. We became as gods, laughing at our own follies.

Many of the finest novels—and certainly the novels I love most—are in the Greek comic tradition, rather than the tragic: Rabelais, Cervantes, Swift, Voltaire, and on through to Joseph Heller’s Catch-22 and the late Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse 5.

Ishmael Reed on Imus

Opening excerpt from Ishmael Reed’s great article at Counterpunch: 

“Some of us relish the naughtiness.”

–Howard Kurtz

In his 1995 book Hot Air, Howard Kurtz wrote that “Imus’ sexist homophobic, and politically incorrect routines echo what many journalists joke about in private. ‘”

“Later, host Don Imus brought up McGuirk’s prior impersonations of African-American poet Maya Angelou asking, “[W]ho was that woman you used to do, the poet? . . . We used to get in all that trouble every time you’d do her. ” As McGuirk launched into the impersonation, Imus said, ‘I don’t need any more columns. Come on. ‘ But Imus did not stop McGuirk, who delivered his impression in verse:

McGUIRK: Whitey plucked you from the jungle for too many years. They took away your pride, your dignity, and your spears With freedom came new woes. Into whitey’s world you was rudely cast. So wake up now and go to work? You can kiss my big black ass”

George Curry, March 3, 2007

What began as a firestorm against Don Imus’ remarks against the members of Rutgers women’s basketball team ended, thanks to Imus’ friends, who controlled a bogus “National Dialogue About Race,” with a referendum on Gangsta Rap and the morals of Revs. Sharpton and Jackson.

By Monday, April 16, appearing on CNN, an all Imus buddy panel, including John Roberts, Paul Begala, and James Carville, engaged in a tribute to Imus. All that was needed were champagne glasses. On the same day John Roberts and his colleague, Wolf Blitzer, described the murder of 31 students at Virginia Tech as “the worst massacre in American history”–ignoring mass killings of blacks and Indians that had been far worse. Moreover, the fact that the shooter Cho Seung-Hui, was a fan of Guns N’ Roses–he named a play, “Mr. Brownstone,” after one of the band’s songs–didn’t inspire the 24/7 castigation of white Heavy Metal music that was dealt to Hip Hop music in the wake of Don Imus’ firing.

The President of NBC News, Steve Capus, was disingenuous when he claimed that Don Imus, the shock jock, was fired solely because employees at NBC were outraged at Imus’ description of the members of the Rutgers women’s basketball team as “Nappy Headed Hos.” That might have been part of it. But it was the multibillion dollar purchasing power of African-Americans and organizations like the National Association of Black Journalists, a more difficult target for Imus’ fans than Sharpton and Jackson, that gave the African-American community its greatest victory against a racist media that have been its bane since the first slave ships arrived. Before television and radio, it was the newspapers alone that raised lynch mobs on African-Americans. In Charles Chesnutt’s novels, The Marrow of Tradition (1901) and The Colonel’s Dream (1905), the villains are newspaper men. The inflammatory coverage of one led to a lynching. The other editor caused a race riot. A book, The Betrayal of the Negro by Rayford Whittingham Logan, indicts some of the nation’s most prestigious newspapers for inciting civil strife during the 20th Century, based upon malicious and false reporting.

The “National Dialogue” that MSNBC held after the Imus outburst about the Rutgers team was a telling example of this historic trend. The so-called “dialogue” was dominated mostly by white talking heads, including white women, who seem to be prospering at MSNBC, receiving as much airtime as the men. (Even so, Gloria Steinem maintained, in a recent New York Times op-ed, that white middle-class women and blacks share the same social predicament. Really? The college enrollment of white women is higher than that of both white men and blacks.) Instead of the opinions of black academic feminists like bell hooks, Michele Wallace, Sandra O’Neale, Paula Giddings, Joyce Joyce, or Sonia Sanchez being solicited to comment about Imus’ remarks, Naomi Wolfe, a white feminist, whom bell hooks has criticized, spoke on behalf of black women.

It’s fortunate that the money people at General Motors and Bigalow Tea, Direct TV, Ameritrade, Staples, Sprint, American Express and Proctor and Gamble, stepped in, because had they not Imus’ groupies at MSNBC, like his pals, Mike Barnicle, David Gregory, Bo Dietal, the author of a vicious anti-Muslim tirade during Imus’ last weeks, and Joe Scarborough, would have rescued their buddy by following their leader’s talking points. (Keith Olbermann reported that Dietal was even reprimanded by rightwing fixer Dick Morris for using Barack Obama’s middle name, Hussein, to make even more anti- Muslim comments.)

Imus griped that he was a victim of the African-American male culture, where, according to a man who has a lengthy record of making misogynist remarks, men mistreat women. Yet a recent SUNY study reveals a different reality: white men commit most of the assaults upon women in this country. According to the study conducted by Lois Weiss, professor of education at the University of Buffalo, and Michelle Fine, professor of social psychology in the Graduate Center at the City University of New York, white women are afraid to talk about the abuse. Weiss and Fine found that 92 percent of the white women interviewed said that “serious domestic violence” had been directed against them, their mothers and/or sisters, either in their birth households or in later relationships. By comparison, 62 percent of black female subjects reported similar levels of violence in their lives. The authors of the study said that they were surprised because these were white women largely from middle class homes. On the other hand, there has been a steady reduction in the murder of black women by their husbands and boyfriends, while the murder rate of women by white men has remained about the same. One of the reasons for the falling rate of domestic abuse among blacks is that black women are more likely to retaliate. This drop in black domestic violence has been reported in The New York Times, yet the face of domestic violence in the pages of the Times continues to be painted black. Do you suppose that MSNBC will ever conduct a “National Dialogue” about white domestic violence? Maybe Newsweek? One of its writers, Evan Thomas, recently told Imus’ audience that black men in the inner city enjoy beating up their women.

People Are People? — The Dimslow Report

Universal Declaration of Human Rights Article 6:

“Everyone has the right to recognition everywhere as a person before the law.”

Even a Dimslow can see that this so-called human rights article is outrageous. What is this, some kind of anarchistic doctrine? Everyone a person? Everyone? Surely the framers and ratifiers of the UDHR have not met all the Dimslow family.  

In my humble opinion, I, John Doe Dimslow, believe that only the good loyal consumers of Patriotica should ever be recognized as persons by the state or by anyone else for that matter–period. And I define a good loyal consumer of Patriotica as someone who makes and spends a minimum of 50 percent more than the median income and believes with the first Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, John Jay, that “the people who own the country ought to govern it.”

“Everyone has the right to recognition everywhere as a person before the law”? Don’t make me laugh. Everyone knows that the only people (and other entities) fully entitled to such rights are corporations, their executives, and all such clones.

Therefore we must strike this UDHR article from the Dimslow presidential election platform and replace it with a more sane article regarding recognition worthiness.  

How about this one: Article 6: You got money, big money? Then you get the keys to the country (countries) to do with all us Dimslows as you will, for we are all your loyal imprisoned consumer slaves, dear Sirs, forever, amen.

People are people? Who would have thought? Those anarchists are everywhere, I swear. Rest assured, dear voters, further modifications to the UDHR will be made as needed on our long road to liberty.   

Tropetopia 20 — Oila: the 51st State

With gas prices at record levels and oil costs on the verge of going even higher here in the US and with record-setting killing (1,000,000 – best estimates) in and refugee flight (about 2,000,000) from Iraq, there is only one solution that Stan D. Garde can see: make Iraq the 51st state.

Now I realize this may disappoint folks in Puerto Rico and the District of Columbia, and England, Australia, and Israel, etc., all of which at one time or another have seemed to vie to become the 51st state, but given the recent surge in gas and oil prices and the ever pressing need of the US to run the world, I think there is no time to waste in bringing Iraq formally into the Union.

Iraq has already had elections so there should be no problem making the change official, little more than a few minor bureaucratic details. Surely Uncle Sam is strong enough to twist the arms of elected rulers for their signing on as number 51.

Of course the name “Iraq” will have to go. It’s too — what shall we say — foreign, or, I don’t know, Native. Something like Oila would work, I think, since Oila is rather euphonious with, say, Ohio and Iowa, a couple of rock solid middle American names and states, with limited refugee flight.

  

Now, some may object that Iraq, aka Oila, has already become the 51st state for all practical intents and purposes since, thanks to the invasion and occupation, the oil is essentially under control of the United States, being under its guns, and since the U.S. is already pumping hundreds of billions of dollars into the land. So it may seem very little else is to be gained by Iraq’s formal incorporation into the Union as Oila. It’s true, Iraq and its oil are basically ours now (any impending legal formalization aside) — and not only on the noble you broke it, you bought it, so you might as well go ahead and keep breaking it principle — especially given the ongoing planning and construction of the fourteen permanent U.S. military bases in Iraq and the U.S. embassy the size of a town (heavily fortified) from which ultimate power can flow, along with other gated communities and neighborhood stockades. 

  

However, failure to formally incorporate Iraq into the States will mean we have learned nothing these many years from the wisdom of U.S. policy planner George F. Kennan who explained the reality of the world so well over half a century ago:

“We have about 50% of the world’s wealth, but only 6.3% of its population. … In this situation, we cannot fail to be the object of envy and resentment. Our real task in the coming period is to devise a pattern of relationships which will permit us to maintain this position of disparity…. To do so, we will have to dispense with all sentimentality and day-dreaming; and our attention will have to be concentrated everywhere on our immediate national objectives…. We should cease to talk about vague and…unreal objectives such as human rights, the raising of the living standards, and democratization. The day is not far off when we are going to have to deal in straight power concepts. The less we are then hampered by idealistic slogans, the better.”

Building on this theme of “straight power concepts,” it seems obvious to me that international sovereignty must be increasingly a relic of the past. There can be only one State, the American State. It will give that Patriotic phrase “Love it or leave it” a whole new meaning.

The Iraqis, I mean, Oilans, will just have to get used to saluting the stars and stripes and singing God Bless America and the Star Spangled Banner. Why should they mind? I don’t think they will mind really, once they learn to forget themselves for the greater glory of the State, just like everyone else.

Puerto Rico, we’ll get to you, especially if a diamond mine, or something, turns up that you might foolishly attempt to keep control of yourself. Of  course your little land and ungainly name will have to go the way of “Iraq” too. New Diamond as a new name might work. Or, say, Shinola.

In the meantime, Welcome, Oila! The 51st American state. An idea whose time has come.

—————————-
The Bush Plan to Abolish America
The US Conquest of the Middle East
Warhawk Guns For Hire
Dimslow – ‘08
Wholesale Withdrawal
Dimslow Calls the Cops
Anti-War Novels Are Treason
Compassionate Cannibalism
The Up Side of Climate Change
The Tropetopian Age

Wholesale Withdrawal

“Pentagon unveils troop care measures” — intends to immediately withdraw from Iraq and the rest of the globe, sparing untold numbers of lives and saving hundreds of billions of dollars annually that will be put to use saving and improving the lives of millions of people in the US and abroad.

This “Pentagon Plan,” as it has come to be called, will be implemented just as soon as the Bush plan to shrink Congress to a total of five members is realized. Pressed for comment, President Bush vowed, “Formally abolish Congress, then watch me really work.” No report yet on whether anyone believes it matters if Congress is abolished or not.

In other news, the dead continue to pile up in Iraq and the maimed continue to grow. Bush said, “This shows clear signs of progress. Piling up and growing is a good thing. This is a promise of what is to come.” 

When finally reached for comment, the (full of) Vice President Dick Cheney said, “I couldn’t have said it better myself. We have moved beyond the ‘last throes’ of the insurgency and are in the end stage. Soon, there will be no more tomorrows whatsoever. And we will have the President’s devout leadership to thank for it.” 

The (full of) Vice President appeared to begin making the sign of the cross in front of his chest (or reaching for a cup of coffee, it wasn’t clear) when his hand caught fire in a burst of flame and sounds of singeing and hissing. Within the swirling smoke and the smell of brimstone, his aides rushed him out from behind his desk and into a bathroom, with doors that audibly clicked as they locked shut. 

(These brilliant flare-ups happen on a regular basis. This time, precautionary extinguishing measures were taken. Other times, the (full of) Vice President is left alone to sit and torch a bit. Purifies his constitution, he claims, which we reporters have no reason to doubt.)

Most of the media contingent fell to their knees on the grass outside and gasped for fresh air after being escorted rapidly away. Nevertheless none chose to file a report on the matter of spontaneous combustion since there is only a certain level of heinousness that they consent to and are allowed to report. This particular incident did not pass the smell test, so they made no note of it at all, just as their editors, publishers and owners wished. 

“I promise to withdraw from Iraq when the time is Right,” said the President. “So help me, God, I solemnly vow.”

No comment yet from God. Word has it that God has gone dove hunting with the (full of) Vice President. 

So help us God, be assured any news will be reported as soon as it passes the smell test. 

All in all, this has been a typical day in the big time political reporting business: a bit of news but not too much; the grim reality with some manufactured hope; and good pay under tolerably ridiculous circumstances. 

No thanks required — our reporter’s pleasure is to serve.  

Militarize Us All

Venezuela, in exchange for exports of oil and building materials to Cuba, is currently benefitting from the work of nearly 20,000 Cuban doctors who have opened medical clinics in barrios and rural communities that had never previously enjoyed medical services, while Cuban-staffed literacy programs ‘have taught 1.4 million Venezuelans to read and write during the past year alone’.”

John Doe Dimslow takes note: under the leadership of President Hugo Chavez, Venezuela has recently made great advances in extending education and health care to its citizens. The U.S. meanwhile has recently made great strides in extending prison care to its populace now that it seems about 1 out of every 2 Americans is behind bars.

Meanwhile, as it has for years, the U.S. continues to spend about half its budget on war and the military — equaling the military spending of the entire rest of the world combined — the vast majority of it making the world a far more dangerous and deadly place. That’s Dimslows’ dollars we’re talking about being sucked away to impoverish and smash the world.

Fortunately John Doe Dimslow has the solution to all these problems: call it, reorganizing our assets. The Dimslow proposal is to shut down all the schools in the United States and convert them into boot camps for the military. Train everyone. Then skim off the few wits needed to run things and put the rest of the poor slobs — about 80 or 90 percent of all students — directly into the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines. This will not only guarantee plenty of lethal cannon fodder for years to come, but also provide the standard veterans’ health care and retirement benefits to many who would otherwise go without.

I, John Doe Dimslow, for one demand something more, that we be militarized all — no matter what age or circumstance. We Dimslows don’t care how dangerous or low paying it is, at least there will be base housing, base health care, retirement pay, and guaranteed employment. Who needs Hugo Chavez, democracy, education, and enlightened and humane social programs when corporate-militarism will do the trick as well?

Please, Mr. President of the United States, invest in Dimslowland by going from this halfway militarized economy to a total militarization of the economy, society, and culture. Hup One! Hup Two! Hup Three! Please Mr. President make me a soldier so I can have even more of the good life — however lamentably short and brutalized.

And why not? Doesn’t everyone know by now that the good life is best reached through war, and a culture of war? — as said so well in this vital appeal: Please, Mr. President, Attack Appalachia.

The Dimslow Report — Kissing Cousin Candidates

So me and the whole Dimslow clan had dinner with this other candidate for President who wants to win the all-important Dimslow vote so as he can win the election. Well, I’ll be dimpled, if this here candidate did not come on just like the other guy. Hell, I thought I was talking to the same man the way he said whole bunches of things and nothing at all.

What the hell for we got to have two candidates more like fraternal twins than anything, is what I want to know, old John Doe Dimslow. Oh hell yes they bicker like the dickens and all but in the end you can see they’re little more than kissin’ cousins putting on one big show to show off how distinct they try to look one from the other, to show they got some sort of identity they like to call all their own—but what brothers don’t? They’re kissing cousins, I tell you that. I don’t trust neither one of them farther than I can throw a horse. Lord, do they know how to smile and look sincere when they come a visiting. But then I suppose they are—for the moment. Seems to me all they want to do is crack a pearly line right across the middle of them there faces. Spare me the pearlies when you’re trying to sell me, I always say.

Noam Chomsky, Orwell, and the Importance of Caricature

“Caricature is an art, and not an easy one. But when well done, a very important one.”  –Noam Chomsky

 

Noam Chomsky on Orwell, caricature, and thought control in societies:

 

About Orwell’s 1984, I thought, frankly, it was one of his worst books. Could barely finish it. Some parts (e.g., about Newspeak) were clever. But most of it seemed to me — well, trivial. The problem is not a very interesting one; the modes of thought control and repression in totalitarian societies are fairly transparent. In fact, they often tend to be rather lax. Franco Spain, for example, didn’t care much what people thought and said: the screams from the torture chamber in downtown Madrid were enough to keep the lid on. It’s not too well known, but the Soviet Union was also pretty lax, particularly in the Brezhnev era. According to US government-Russian Research Center studies, Russians apparently had considerably wider access to a broad range of opinion and to dissident literature than Americans do, not because it is denied them but because propaganda is so much more effective here. Orwell was well aware of these issues. His (suppressed) introduction to Animal Farm, for example, deals explicitly with “literary censorship in England.” To write about that topic would have been important, hard, and serious — and would have earned him the obloquy that attends departure from the rules.

 

Caricature can be very well done. Swift is marvelous, for example. Animal Farm is pretty good, in my opinion. But 1984 I thought was a serious decline from his best work.

 

Caricature is an art, and not an easy one. But when well done, a very important one. As for dealing with Orwell’s problem,* I try to do it in the ways I know how to pursue; 1000s of pages by now. No doubt there are other ways, maybe better ways. But others will have to find what works for them.

*[Orwell’s problem: how is it that oppressive ideological systems are able to] “instill beliefs that are firmly held and widely accepted although they are completely without foundation and often plainly at variance with the obvious facts about the world around us?”

___________________

See also:

Cover for 'Fiction Gutted: The Establishment and the Novel'

by  Tony Christini


Tropetopia XIX — The Pangloss Score VI: Anti-War Novels Are Treason

Top Twenty reasons explicit anti-War novels are absurd, an obscenity to humankind (and the publishers who publish them are the scum of the earth) – in the humble opinion of Stan D. Garde: Continue reading Tropetopia XIX — The Pangloss Score VI: Anti-War Novels Are Treason

Tropetopia XVIII — The Pangloss Score V: The Pangloss Score Scored

Top twenty Pangloss Scores on top of my mind, Stan D. Garde:

Top twenty reasons overt anti-war novels are an obscenity to humankind (and the publishers who publish them are the scum of the earth).

Top twenty wonders of War – almost the only taxes worth paying.

Top twenty ways the status quo establishment intends to pay for the fallout of Climate Change.

Top twenty great neo-serf-wage jobs.

Top twenty ways to make a killing.

Top twenty economic scams to avoid.

Top twenty DemRep election strategies.

Top twenty Revolutionary nightmares.

Top twenty Tropetopian Americans.

Top twenty Tropetopian Earthians.

Top twenty places to live and die.

Top twenty ways to administer health care.

Top twenty meanings of social security.

Top twenty reasons to abolish the minimum wage.

Top twenty ways to run and rule prisons.

Top twenty ways to mentally cleanse the youth of any land.

Top twenty ways to control language.

Top twenty ways to run and rule a corporation.

Top twenty ways to run and rule a country.

Top twenty ways to run and rule the world.

Needless to say, these Pangloss Scores are only the merest tip of the iceberg poking out of the top of my head.

With keen regret I note the lack of room in this initial list for other equally vital Pangloss Scores, for example, on religion, sex, drugs, art, food and agriculture, the environment, sports, infants, the elderly, the poor, pregnancy, manners, race, diet, humor, and great Tropetopian moments in history, philosophy, science, fashion, etymology, and all else. But so be it, for we live in the best of all possible Panglossian worlds, words, and whirls, duly enthralled, in good Tropetopian form.

I trope, therefore I am what I am — a faithful trading post, here to produce and consume, to serve the greater.

It’s important to get the Right tropes. Right is Right and left is daft.

The scale of freedom and well-being does not run from great democracy on the left to great tyranny on the right — far from it, delusional thinking. It runs from Totalitarianism on the left, rightward to (so-called) democracy, then further rightward to (so-called) tyranny (benevolent or otherwise), then all the way Right to utter enlightenment and true Righteousness.

It’s clear where I stand.

In this way, I trope.

I believe, too, and therefore act as I should and must, a good loyal vendor-consumer diligently accumulating profits and power upward, the only proper and natural way.

Most sincerely, 

Stan D. Garde
Official Terminate DemRep Sloganeer

Sick Culture, Imaginative Exhaustion

Symbolism Over Politics 

   JoAnn Wypijewski 

So here’s the question: which was Don Imus’ bigger offense, calling the African-American women on the Rutgers basketball team nappy-headed or calling them hos? Almost all the commentary I’ve read on this now is all about the “racially charged” aspect of the comment, and the response to the “hos” part is: these girls are A students, they’re Girl Scouts, they’re musical prodigies, they’re future leaders. In other words, there are some women whom you might reasonably call hos, but not these women….

There was a time when shock worked, because there was intelligence behind it: Lennie Bruce, Richard Pryor. There was a political point to it. If you compare what those guys were doing to the world of fine art, you’d have to look back to the first guy, the Russian Malevich, who painted an all-black canvas. And then an all-white one etc. And that was in 1913 or so, and it was a hugely daring thing to do. But now what does it mean to paint an all-black canvas? It has no meaning, no shock, no daring, just imaginative exhaustion….

At the end of the day all of this seems like another triumph of symbolism over politics, whether he stays or goes. If he stays, the symbolism of apology; if he goes, the symbolism of a demonstration firing. Change will come only through changing the culture, the political culture. But it makes a little more sense as a diagnosis, I think, to say that the culture made the man. You can get rid of the man; you’re still stuck with the culture.

Ron Jacobs on Kurt Vonnegut

God Bless You, Mr. Vonnegut

   Ron Jacobs 

Two of the essential books on every literate, at least somewhat countercultural young person in the US’s list at the time were Slaughterhouse Five and Cat’s Cradle:. The former is an antiwar novel that needs to be dusted off and read anew by every US resident who gives a shit about the direction our country has been going since it was written. We are all Billy Pilgrim–the novel’s protagonist–and we can all decide to either make a difference or not. The second novel is an allegory about a lot of things. There’s a substance called Ice-Nine that cannot touch water without instantly freezing it. Not only does this substance freeze the water it first touches; it continues to freeze all the water that that water touched and so on, potentially freezing all the water in the world. In fact, that’s how the book ends. The rock band The Grateful Dead named their publishing company Ice Nine. Interestingly enough, the Grateful Dead also represented another concept presented by Vonnegut in Cat’s Cradle: the karass. Simply put, a karass is a group of people who, unbeknownst to them, are collectively doing God’s will in carrying out a specific, common, task. The idea became the model for more than one group of young folks trying to put together a collective living situation.

Although I re-read both of the above books every couple of years, the Vonnegut novel that I favor the most is God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater. The story of Eliot Rosewater, a WW II veteran who is also the scion of a wealthy industrialist, this novel might be Vonnegut’s most pointed piece of social criticism. The protagonist follows the road expected of him after his military service–he finishes college, marries properly and joins the family business. Then he has an epiphany and decides to use his share of the family fortunes to help out the hopeless. He sets up a philanthropic office in a small town in Indiana and gives away money to anyone who asks for it. The Foundation’s slogan is “Don’t kill yourself, call the Rosewater Foundation.” A family lawyer wants to get Eliot declared insane in order to get the money in someone else’s hands. Yet that is a mere subplot. The real story is about human redemption and Eliot’s belief that almost everyone has some good in them. Interspersed throughout the book are incisive critiques of the history and nature of US capitalism. Yet, it is a very funny novel.

Kurt Vonnegut’s insights will be missed…

More Rachel Corrie Play Censorship

 Rachel’s Words’ Silenced Again

    Tom Wallace

Once again the play “My Name is Rachel Corrie” has been cancelled, this time in South Florida.

In New York and Toronto the play was cancelled due to pressure from the Jewish community or those that claim to speak for the Jewish Community. The play was successfully staged in NYC at the Minetta Lane theater. It is currently enjoying an extraordinary run at the Seattle Repertory Theater and many more are planned.

Wherever it has been staged, there has been support from the Jewish community as well as criticism. The Jewish community is not monolithic and no-one speaks for “it,” though many claim to.

Much has been written about the play and though theater critics have mostly given glowing reviews, some have been luke warm, and a scant few have even been negative. That is how theater works.

Dimslow Calls the Cops

I called the police. Sometimes you have to. I called the police on the President of the United States. I called the police when President Bush invaded Iraq. That was illegal. I called the police when President Clinton bombed Iraq, and elsewhere — all illegal under international law, not least. I asked the police, “Aren’t you going to do something about it?” Even if breaking laws is nothing new for presidents.  And what did the police say down in Dimslow Hollow? 

“Sir, that’s a bit outside our jurisdiction.” 

Just what they always say.

“Ye shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free,” I pronounced, putting on my best mock preacher’s voice. “Or is the truth outside your jurisdiction, too?”  

“Look, we’re all up against a lot of bigger truths, Sir. There’s no standard operating procedure for that, you see. Not in these parts anyhow.” 

“No truth?” 

“No, I guess not.” 

“Then you won’t arrest the President? He commits crime after crime for all the world to see.” 

“Would you like me to send a squad car all the way to Washington to circle outside the White House just to have a look? Check for disturbances?” 

“No point. The crimes are committed all across the country and world. They only originate in that Whitest of Houses.”

“Well that may be.”

“So no arrest?” 

“Not by us, Sir. You?” 

“A citizen’s arrest? Believe me, I’ve tried.” 

“Oh, yes, Sir, I believe you. And if I recall correctly, you still have the right. Unless it was tossed out in the Patriotica Act.” 

“They always say I don’t have the authority.” 

“The authority — or the power?” 

“Ain’t it the truth.” 

“Some would say.”

“I’m missing the power — seems like it could be around here somewhere — but I’ve already got the authority, we do.”

“If you say so.”

“I have to.”

“No you don’t.”

“Oh but I do.”

Dimslow — ’08

I, John Doe Dimslow, hereby declare my candidacy for President of the United States.  

This is not an April Fool’s joke. Though I wish it were.

The political platform on which I will base my campaign and which will serve as guide if elected is not the Holy Corporate Charter but the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, signed into law by the United States and other nations over half a century ago, a declaration that has still not been lived up to, and for no good reason.

My main planks will not be based on the lunatic motto of capitalism that “private vice leads to public good” but instead will be based on the various articles in the UDHR.

The decision of selecting a running mate has been a long and arduous process that I have suffered through for some time now. I have finally decided to select as running mate someone who I believe will give me immense credibility, someone who will be able to stand up to the candidates for the Dems and Reps with credentials every bit as distinguished and fine, someone brilliant who burns with a keen sense for expanding civilization for the benefit of all everywhere, someone who will back down from nothing and no one, someone utterly reliable, dependable and someone who holds the best interests of the American people close to his heart—someone, again, I cannot emphasize enough, with a proven track record and solid credibility, someone equal to and every bit as good as any of the likely candidates for the D’s and R’s. And so now I hereby proclaim to be my running mate, Vice Presidential candidate for the 2008 elections, the next esteemed Vice President of the United States of America: Genghis Khan!

Actually, not the Genghis Khan, the renowned Mongol invader of centuries past but a descendent of his, a long since naturalized American, who yet retains the most outstanding characteristics of not only the great Genghis Khan himself but also of his grandson, Hulagu Khan, who conquered Iraq some eight centuries ago. No less is to be expected of my vice presidential nominee, who, given his acclaimed heritage, it should be clear to all, is the ideal candidate to square off with any likely candidate selected by the D’s and R’s. Welcome to the Dimslow campaign of 2008, O great descendent of Genghis Khan. 

April Fools! 

April fools, not regarding my own candidacy, which will proceed as scheduled, but regarding my choice of candidate for Vice President – a choice I have in fact not yet made. The Genghis Khan descendents will have to look to the policy establishments of the D’s and R’s for their continued employment.

In the meantime I urge everyone everywhere – Genghis Khan devotees aside – to pitch in on the UDHR Dimslow efforts for now, for ‘08, forevermore.

  

 

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Sat Apr 9, 12:01 PM ET JDD Press

Citizen of the United States of America, and of Earth, John Doe Dimslow peers out from a window of his home and wonders what is becoming of his country and the world, on Saturday, April 9, 2005. He wonders if he will be able to keep his home and keep up with the energy and fuel bills. His health insurance is poor, and he intends to keep pressuring the government to call off its attack on the world, and to maintain and improve its services to his kin and to humankind, and to do much more to keep the United Corporations from ripping him off, along with everyone else. He is glad to see the duck get a fair shake. And he wishes the duck well. (JDD Photos/Jane Doe Dimslow)

 

     Dimslow – 2008    

The Dimslow Report — Warhawk Guns For Hire

They’re coming after John Doe Dimslow Junior at school. Now with the deaths of Iraqi guerillas and civilians and U.S. soldiers and private mercenaries mounting every day, U.S. military recruiters are having trouble recruiting soldiers into the “all-volunteer” forces. So they have to make it more and more a mercenary military of Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marine troops to go along with the private mercenaries. They have to offer cash to kill: “$20,000 bonus for enlisting, $9,000 more if enlistees ship out in the next 30 days, and even better, $70,000 for college.”

The big bucks tempted J Junior so much that he gave the recruiters the a-okay to come over to our home for a home visit. Except he never cleared it with Daddy-O, one John Doe Dimslow. So when those recruiters climbed out of their shiny SUV and came striding across the lawn and up the walk I met them on the porch with a twelve gauge double barrel sawed-off, and I ordered them to stop, to halt, to cease and desist. And then I asked them if they recognized what I held in my hands. They did. And then I stepped off the porch and pointed up at the sky over the empty field and woods and gave it a shooting off. And I don’t know if they were impressed none but at least now I had their attention. “Come on in, boys,” I told them. “Let’s have us a little talk. And I’ll just keep my friend here by my side.”

Well them boys ain’t soldiers for nothing, I suppose, so they came on in, and we sat around the kitchen table with J Junior and his mother Jane Doe Dimslow and I had them boys go over the dollars again, and then I asked, “And how much does J Junior here get for a blown off arm and a blown off leg? I mean, does he get paid an arm and a leg for an arm and a leg that’s been blown off? And how many arms and legs is he going to have to blow off himself to get them bucks? And how much more of that oil money is he going to get?” And then I turned to J Junior and I asked, “How much of that oil money do you want, son? I figure now’s the time to ask for all the world and all to hear. Name your price to these gentlemen and see just how much you can get.” And J Junior said, “Well, I don’t know anything about oil money.”

And I said, “Well, these boys do. They get their share. Now you’ve got to get yours, if that’s what you want. Is that what you want? Oil money? And blood spilt to get it? You better get what you can now, I tell you what, because it’s going to be like trying to pull teeth trying to get any later. Them fat cats are going to lap it all up, quicker than you can pull any trigger.”

J Junior said he didn’t want any oil money.

And I turned to the recruiters and I said, “You heard the young man.” And smiled. And we all just sort of ignored any guns that had been brought to the table and the blood and the oil, and the recruiters went out onto the porch and strode down the walk and crossed the yard and climbed in their SUV and drove away.

After I locked the gun in the cabinet, J Junior and I stood on the porch gazing out over the fields and forest, and J Junior said, “The money makes you think.”

And I said, “Is that what it does?”

And J Junior said, “It makes you think their way.”

And I said, “And what kind of way is that?”

And J Junior said, “It’s the way of the killer.”

“The killer thief,” I said, and I turned around as Jane Doe Dimslow came out onto the porch.

And J Junior said, “And that’s no way. It’s no way at all.”

And it’s all over the dim-damned TV. All these phony political dee-bates that get me all riled up under the skin the way them warhawks get going and all. It isn’t nothing how they look, it’s what they say. They all say we got to destroy Iraq to save it. More or less. And to hell with anything else. To hell with riling up them mad bombers, which is what it does more and more. To hell with everything – they say, we got to up the firepower on Iraq to have peace. We got to break it to fix it. We got to smash it to restore it.

Maybe I’m missing the candle for the wick, being a John Doe Dimslow and all, but these guys are nuts gone mad, warhawks all, blowing up Iraq, blowing up Iraqis and using our boys and girls, men and women as the cannon and the cannon fodder both. Pouring gasoline on a bonfire, all so that we, but not me and you, can own the oil and threaten to cut it off from other folks, rather than just keep buying it like everyone else. The troops ain’t dying and killing for nothing, of course. There’s oil there! And power! And a WMD hornet’s nest is what we’re a-makin’, by a-killin’ and by a-stayin’. And somebody not no way related to John Doe Dimslow is getting rich. That’s what them troops are dying and killing for, as the place goes to the hell it’s being made into. And more than a few of them troops know it and are angry about it. And for starters we can thank the big dollar folks and politicians and big media types like the ones we see all over the damn place for making it so.

But what do I know, old Dimslow?

Maybe I can find a horror film on TV to watch tonight or something like that, something a little less chilling than them warhawks I see on TV chirping and pounding away at each other like they are cannons come to life, each one eager to be a bigger cannon than the other.

If only them warhawks could be confined there on the tube – but now I hear Iran is next for the blasting and smashing – and soon. It’s the whole planet and everyone in it that I get worried about, that I got to speak out about, that them warhawks seem eager to set about destroying. They act like they’ll destroy almost anything to get elected or stay in power. And the thing is, it don’t, in any way, seem like no act.

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FROM TROPETOPIA