The Fox News Plan to Abolish America and the World

[satire]

Fox News is known by a lot of great slogans it includes in daily TV broadcasts, as well as by the meaning of those slogans made bare:

from “America’s Newsroom” to “America’s Spewroom”

from “The Most Powerful Name in News” to “The Most Pungent Name in Lying”

from “Fox Means Business” to “Fox Means Big Business “

from “Fair and Balanced” to “UnFair and UnBalanced”

from “Fox is Where the News Is” to “Fox is Where The Lies Are”

from “We Report, You Decide” to “We Distort, You Jeer”

and most recently

from “We Put the World in Context” to “We Put the Odious in the News”

Despite recent losses in viewers, Fox News, the BBC reports, has seen its profits double during the Iraq War, of which Fox is the main official co-sponsor – while CNN, the three traditional networks, and right wing talk radio, among others, do their cheerleading best to compete for that distinguished honor.

War profits have reportedly encouraged Fox creator, funder, and media king Rupert Murdoch and Fox CEO, Chairman, and President Roger Ailes to consider advocating (if not outright orchestrating) subsequent wars, such as a possible WMD obliteration of Iran, perhaps coupled with a new African holocaust, to go along with the current holocaust imposed by Fox-friendly pharmaceutical companies who refuse to give up patent “rights” that prevent the continent from affording to fully treat for AIDS and other diseases.

In addition, Fox News is reportedly investigating whether or not tiny countries and regions like China, India, Venezuela and most of the rest of Latin America (with the exception of the Cuban expatriate section of south Florida) would be susceptible to a cleansing Biblical plague of locusts that might be hatched in Rupert Murdoch’s deep pockets. Popular British geopolitical novelist John le Carré thought he might write a novel based on such inside information but finally gave up the effort as being “too hopelessly factual and depressingly non-novelistic.” Word has it though that pop CEO novelist Michael Crichton is determined to pen “a big story” about “an evil United Nations cabal” that tries to force Murdoch, Ailes, and Fox News to pay taxes directly to the UN, the global organization that represents the countries Crichton believes Murdoch, Ailes, and Fox News have every right to own and obliterate however they and their financial advisors see fit.

Meanwhile, the media analysts at Fairness & Accuracy In Reporting (FAIR) ask – “How are Murdoch, Ailes, and Fox News different from Jean Valjean, the ‘wretched’ character in Victor Hugo’s great novel of the people, Les Misérables? Answer: In every possible way. Jean Valjean was forced to flee by the establishment into the sewers to survive and got out as quick as he could; whereas, Fox News is the sewer – competing successfully with a number of other sewers for sufficient toxic sludge to spew each day – those sewers of course being the corporate media — CNN, ABC, NBC, CBS (not to mention right wing radio and the rest) — who prove day in and day out what studies reveal and what the title of journalist Danny Schechter’s media book make clear, ‘The More You Watch the Less You Know’.”

Fox News – The Great Corporate Nightmare.

(With much close competition.)

“Fox News: We Do Goebbels Proud”

“Who Says Lying Doesn’t Pay?”

“Leading Mouthpiece of the Establishment”

“Those Nazis Got Nothin’ On Us”

“Those Who Own the News Control the News”

“The Official Version of Reality”

“Fox News: The First Refuge of the Scoundrels”

“All the Crap You Need Each and Every Day”

“Fox News: Your Source for Sewage”

“Raising Stench to an Art Form”

“Fox News: We Announce – The Supreme Court Obeys”

“Fox News: We Announce – Congress Sings Along”

“Fox News: We Announce – The President Confirms”

“Fox News: We Lead – CNN Follows”

“Fox News: In Praise of The Status Quo”

“Fox News: Rich Views”

“Fox News: The Bright Shiny Face of Big Money”

“Fox News: Establishment Culture, Official Culture”

“Fox News: Brought to You By Corporate America”

“Fox News: We Make a Killing for a Living” 

“Fox News: The Pride of Corporate America”

“Fox News: Ghenghis Views”

“Fox News: Corporate to the Hilt”

“Fox News: Democracy Who?”

“Fox News: Eat the Poor, Feed the Rich”

“Fox News: Pro-War and Proud”

“Fox News: To Hell With The World – America Too”

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