First, Found al-Qaeda. Second, Bomb America. Third, Use the US invasion and occupation of Iraq and Afghanistan to recruit new members. Fourth, Trust the US invaders to guard the oil ministry but not the ammunition dumps during the invasion of Iraq. Fifth, Loot the ammunition dumps at will. Sixth, Trust the US invaders to destroy the security and civilian infrastructure of Iraq and Afghanistan. Seventh, Attack US forces “over there.” Eighth, In the meantime, train the many new recruits to attack the US “over here.” Ninth, Silently applaud the DemReps as their occupation of Iraq and Afghanistan provides a steady stream of new recruits to “the cause.” Tenth, Marvel at the recruiters paradise provided by the DemReps.
In the meantime, people all across America ask, Who is the US Administration and Congress actually working for – bin Laden or us? That laughter – it’s bin Laden and al-Qaeda.
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[This “Plan to Abolish America” series of satires consists of slightly revised pieces posted in advance of the coming “Petraeus Report” on Iraq. The series began with The Petraeus Plan to Abolish America and Iraq, and will likely end with the same Plan.]
A Practical Policy 
The scare quotes around “Petraeus Report” are doubly scary since it turns out now that there is actually not going to be, you know, an actual written report, just the current PR campaign. But that may just be because the president can’t, well, you know, read.