Top 10 Reasons Chaos Would Escalate in Iraq if the US Pulls Out

[satire]

There is nothing like apocalyptic chaos in Iraq now.

The US presence if peaceful. The US presence sustains the peace.

The US presence is warmly embraced by Iraqis, as proven by the fact that a mere 80 percent of attacks by Iraqis are directed against US forces, and by the fact that at least a small percentage of the population wish for the US to have not left years ago.

The current 4 million Iraqi refugees caused by the US invasion and occupation, a million per year, are people who actually enjoy travel in the dead of night a step ahead of death and destruction.

The US bombings, patrols, and presence otherwise provide an unspeakable degree of security.

US forces do not exactly carry out the unprecedented level of ethnic cleansing; they merely oversee it.

Who would remain to control the oil? Surely the Iraqis have no responsible idea what to do with it.

The hundreds of thousands of US soldiers and private contractors upon threat of joblessness would riot in the streets. Best to let them go on bombing and shooting in orderly fashion.

Oil control is “stability”. Massive violence is a mere inconvenience. Loss of oil control is increased chaos. But we repeat.

A couple hours of electricity per day and a few ounces of water on occasion during the week is enough for a person to get by on during this current, years-long, unprecedented and worsening social collapse. The US is on the right track. It’s on the right track all right.

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