Tropetopia III — Great Theme Unveiled

“Conquer the World, Now.”

I awoke.

That was it. No better campaign theme imaginable. “Conquer the world, now. Conquer the world, and how. Conquer, conquer, conquer — Conquer the world, now and how.”

What a great time this was for the United States of Humanity, I mean, America.

I stretched, yawned, and tried to scratch my back. The Arranger would be so proud of me.

Now all I needed was some theme music, maybe the dazzling, dancing, fluting and fluttering, tearing trumpets from that famous boxing movie franchise, Rocky, and the roar of five fleets of military jets from each of the five branches — the Army, Navy, Marines, Air Force, and Stellars (being the newest branch, of course — Space Ops).

It’s not easy for any great country to rule the world. It requires a benevolent assortment of iron-fisted World Banks and International Monetary Funds to dictate to upstart peon countries everywhere. It requires soldiers, weapons, and other military installations to be placed, drilled, and exercised in every crook and cranny of the world, down to nearly the last microscopic spec of a country on every continent and in every ocean.

And the only way to facilitate all this is to have a wondrous populace fully engaged in obedience and worship, and a job and a good time here at home — yet ever willing to go anywhere and kill anyone at a moment’s notice. Or merely to support it, permit it, enable it – not so impossible to do with military expenditures greater than the entire rest of the world’s expenses combined, and warriors based everywhere with the most sophisticated weapons at the ready. Ultimate electronica, as invincible as can be. (As in a matter of time, I’m sure, we’ll see.)

Better to buy the world off first, of course, but if not possible, well, we all know what it means when the other shoe of Uncle Sam, or Uncle Japan, or Uncle France, or Uncle China, etc and so on, drops. In a missile bang missile world, the first one to conquer wins. That’s the DemRep way that we all know inside and out, and so lovingly abide.