Some die a natural death, some do not. My job is to bury them all in proper hierarchical fashion.
I’ve aimed my whole life to get here – the Corporate Green Zone.
No, I don’t live in some dopey sci-fi fantasy. I live in America, today. I live in the Corporate Green Zone. Did I mention that? The CGZ. The CG for short. Or GZ. Sometimes we call it just the Zone.
The key is to know the proper rhetoric. That’s how you survive in the Zone.
When I first arrived here, I was but a lowly Terminator from Rockview Terminal – just as I described in my parent’s handbook, Youthtopia. Of course, they used to call the Terminals high schools before the word “high” was nearly banned from the language by Congress during one of this country’s many brave battle against certain drugs and their deviant users and dealers.
So yes, I was an everproud Terminator of History at everlovely Rockview Terminal. Stan D. Garde. Live and in the flesh, on paper, at least to you all – to the everloving citizens of what is now know as The United Corporate States of America and Earth (The UCS of AE).
You know who you are. I write this citizen’s handbook to you, for you, my fellow everloving UCS citizens. I have been commissioned to write it by our Dear Leaders in the Zone, the very capitol of the United Corporate States.
Writin’ is fightin’, baby. And our fight was never more urgent and never more great than today. Of course we fight the so-called Freelanders. The Freeloaders, or FL, as we call them. They dare to fight the UCS. They dare to attack the CGZ. Well, let them. “Bring it on!” I say. We shall destroy them in the end. You cannot fight all the power all the time, as they have chosen to do. They shall lose, and the Green Zone shall be expanded to encompass the Earth entire. I do hope we see such victory in our time, and I offer this modest citizen’s handbook, Corpstopia, to that end.
You see, I am more than just a burial man for those who die in the Corporate Green Zone. I am an author. I have been commissioned – yes, outsourced – by the CGZ officials to enlighten the world for those who live, for those who fight, for our lovely land that is the United Corporate States of America and Earth. I bury those who meet their unfortunate end in the CGZ, and I write for those who wish to expand the UCS to truly encompass the Globe.
So, Welcome, everloving readers, to this modest handbook, Corpstopia.
As I say, my name is Stan D. Garde, former Terminator of History, now the everloving how-to author of the CGZ in the UCS. God is on our side, of course. And we pray every day to smite the wicked. But more about that later.
It is the realist philosophy that describes the world best, I believe. In the very intricacies, in the subtlest nuance of the everloving mundane details of everyday life both within and without the borders of the CGZ is revealed the world and life as we know it and otherwise might, or might not. Allow me then to introduce you, first to the pile, nay, the mountain of bones on “the back four hundred” square miles, as we are amused to call it, here in the CGZ of the UCS of AE.
