Top Twenty reasons explicit anti-War novels are absurd, an obscenity to humankind (and the publishers who publish them are the scum of the earth) – in the humble opinion of Stan D. Garde:

Dalton Trumbo’s infamous anti-War novel Johnny Got His Gun is one of the most hideous, grotesque, irresponsible books known to humankind (good title though, alas). Exactly what, after all, can a totally disfigured, utterly unrecognizable, essentially comatose mangled lump of flesh veteran, like his narrator, really be expected to know about the glories of War?

What’s next – Pacifist Patrols? Pro-Peace Paratroopers? Diplomatic Deterrence? Absurd and outrageous.

Words are not bullets in the flesh but missiles in the mind. Responsible authors and publishers must judiciously select what they ought shoot, and not.

Anti-War novels pollute and betray minds and countries, young and old, near and far. Where would the ancient land of Iraq be without War?

It’s impossible to be anti-War and pro-humanity.

It’s impossible to be anti-War and pro-art in novels. Anti-War novels are mere propaganda and thus Rightly dismissed as art (and as anything else with any credibility whatsoever).

What stable State could exist without War? What sane State? What are flags for, if not War? An anti-War novel is like an anti-War flag and ought to be burned. That’s Right, you heard it here first – ultra-Patriot Stan D. Garde is pro-flag burning – in the case of the anti-War flag that is an anti-War novel.

In War We Trust – that’s the great slogan we need to get onto the coins - and into ever more novels as well.

War is life – novels should reflect that. One of the grand thing is not nearly enough.

An anti-War novel is like an anti-War gun. Just plain wrong.

Writing an anti-War novel is bad enough but there’s no accounting for diseased minds. Reading an anti-War novel is far worse, for no one ought voluntarily imbibe disease. But publishing an anti-War novel is easily the greatest crime of all, for to do so is to make treasonous material contagious.

Anti-War novels are anti-American and pro-Enemy.

There is nothing more barbaric than topical and explicit, direct and timely anti-War art and publishing. Intellectually. Aesthetically. Morally. Barr-Bare-Ick. One of the great things about our country of which we can be most proud is that publishers of contemporary novels seem to know this, through and through. Barr-Bare-Ick.

There will be no government contracts, or financial contracts of likely any sort, for the hideous creature that is the overt contemporary anti-War novelist. And Rightly so. Who would fund these monsters?

Those novels and publishers who would resist war – who would hold up the future of humanity as formed by the power of bombs and guns - would be base, were they to exist.

An anti-War novelist is no Good Samaritan but the opposite — the scourge of the civilized world — one who does not help but hinders, one who does not heal but hates, one who does not volunteer himself on the field of battle but merely bleeds from his heart in an offensive and odious way.

The implacable hatred of an anti-War novelist can only be eradicated by force. Fortunately the publishing community needs little tutoring in the exercise of such.

A truly civilized person, duly trained, properly reared, would rather read his own toilet paper than write, read, or publish an anti-War novel.

No explicit and direct, topical and contemporary anti-War novels? The future is bright indeed.

Johnny Gotta Get His Gun 

                                              

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